“hates violin”


Susan Ahlberg said: Jul 3, 2007
4 posts

:roll: My daughter has been taking lessons for almost 3 years. We are only creeping along at a snails pace. She says she hates violin and hates classical music. She started asking to play at age 4 to learn, then at 6 we started….she is 9 now. My hunch is she thinks it is not-cool—she has told me about how she misses out on fun things because of violin (which is not true). And I think she finds it hard=frustrating.
I know that listening helps alot, but she grunts, groans, cries, and goes on about how she hates to listen and covers her ears. I try putting in on in the “background” and she does the same……
Ahhhhh! ‘best I know to do is try to plow through these times and hope for the best…..but, in reality is there a time when we have to quit? I have told her many times, quitting is not an option and have recieved help from this site in the past. Is it right to push this?
Our teacher has her working on an occassional fiddle tune which helps. We have a new baby, and a 3 yr old, which is great, but that doesn’t help with the time spent practicing….I am feeling overwhelmed.
I suppose I am in need of “been through that” advice from other parents…. Any teens out there that have been through this and glad they are still with it?
Thanks, in advance—to a very supportive group.

Grace said: Jul 3, 2007
110 posts

Is there a youth symphony or school orchestra program in your area? Personally, that is what kept me with violin through those tween/teen years. I could care less about the music, but I made some good friends in youth symphony & I knew I wouldn’t see them anymore if I quit.

I was also in the school orchestra program even though I was WAY advanced compared to the other kids because I started when I was 3. But it really helped me to read music and also helped me to recognize my ability. I was never a “superstar” among my Suzuki group (there were always little kids better than me) but at my school orchestra I was a leader! :)

Once I got to high school, I was in a string quartet with 3 friends, and we did weddings and gigs we got paid SO much more than babysitting! I thought it was the coolest thing ever.

I guess my advice is to try to find some fun and social aspect of violin.

said: Jul 11, 2007
 9 posts

Others might disagree with me, but if your daughter has been expressing her dislike of playing violin for quite awhile, perhaps you could tell her,
“Learning to play music is not optional, but you can change your choice of instrument at this time.”

My child began to really dislike playing Suzuki piano. After quite awhile, his protestations growing louder and louder, I told him the above. He switched to guitar. Non-Suzuki at that. After almost a year, he still doesn’t love to practice, but he is much happier and easier to work with.

My youngest just started Suzuki violin, so we are still a Suzuki family.

Sometimes a particular instrument just doesn’t resonate with a particular person, or the love-affair dies. Or the style of music might not be of interest. Perhaps switching to a fiddle teacher would be just the thing. Fiddle teachers usually teach music by ear, so that aspect of the Suzuki approach would still be there for your daughter. And you could bring in other aspects, such as sitting in on lessons and being the practice partner.

I wonder what ideas others have. Good luck! I’ve been there, but every situation is different, so I hope you find that particular something that works for both of you.

said: Jul 19, 2007
 16 posts

I think Cartwheel is correct. I have told all my children over the years that in our family, music is not optional. I allow no disrespect for classical since it is the foundation. If one of my children were to ruin the other’s listening pleasure, that would be grounds for disciplinary action-time out, removal of something from her life she really enjoys. (It should only happen once)

I also tell them that practicing is not optional, but how they open their heart is. They can either fill their heart with joy, and they will recieve many opportunities from their music, or they can close their heart. So the choice is their attitude, not whether or not they play the violin.

I also allow them to add (not switch) instruments after they are in book 4, or have been playing for seven years. (My girls start at age three). After I laid down the “law”, there have been only occasional complaints. After the oldest was in book four, she was accomplished enough to not want to give up the violin. (Down side- she can pick up any instrument and pluck out a tune. I could go broke buying her all her desired instruments)

Another thing I do is show them how many opportunities they will miss by closing themselves off to music. We have always attended concerts (classical/ irish fiddling/bluegrass/jazz). They can invite friends along, so there is a social aspect.

The older one now goes to play at friend’s houses (her friends now generally play the violin) and they actually play the violin together!

Good luck.
In the end I think it is about

This topic is locked. No new comments can be posted.

You must log in to post comments.

A note about the discussion forum: Public discussion forum posts are viewable by anyone. Anyone can read the forums, but you must create an account with your email address to post. Private forums are viewable by anyone that is a part of that private forum's group. Discussion forum posts are the opinion of the poster and do not constitute endorsement by or official position of the Suzuki Association of the Americas, Inc.

Please do not use the discussion forums to advertise products or services