Every Parent Can!

How teachers can help parents make (and not break) a strong Suzuki Triangle.

By Julia Kailing Cooper

When I first enrolled my children in Suzuki lessons, I was aware that I would play a major role as a Suzuki parent. Looking back, however, I was quite naïve about the extent of my responsibilities and influence. In the early days, most parents are introduced to the idea of the Suzuki Triangle. In his article “The Other Suzuki Triangle” in the ASJ, Dr. Mark George explains, “The Suzuki Triangle is a term used to describe the powerful relationship that develops among students, teachers, and parents. The teacher serves the role of an expert guide, working together with the parent to provide the best possible music learning environment for the student.” 

Through the years, I have come to believe that for the Suzuki Triangle to be strong, it is important for the teacher to have a deep respect and understanding of the parent’s role and the obstacles they may face. When my family started Suzuki lessons, I expected my children’s teachers to embrace their role in guiding my children musically, but I didn’t grasp how important it would be for their teachers to support and empower me, so that I could support and empower my children. The core belief of the Suzuki Method is that “Every Child Can.” One of the best lessons my children’s teachers imparted was also the conviction that “Every Parent Can.”

Parental Support

Our teachers established the foundation of support for me, even before the initial lesson. I greatly appreciated when our teachers clearly laid out the expectations for parents, offered a warm welcome, and provided guidelines for our roles in lessons, group class, and practice. I loved when our teachers stated their preferred days and times for contact, as well as preferences for texts, phone calls or emails. This created an open line of communication without me feeling like I was imposing on their time. It was also helpful for me when our teachers engaged in regular private check-ins. This was a constructive tool that allowed us to address any challenges we saw developing with my children.

Clear communication with our teachers also allowed me to address one of my own challenges. Starting a child in private Suzuki lessons brought out vulnerabilities I didn’t anticipate. The knowledge that my children were not perfect and that some of their worst behavior could be on display was intimidating. Teachers who were sensitive to this possibility allowed me to feel safe, which made me a more effective Suzuki parent. They assured me discipline issues were not unexpected and they would take the lead in managing them. If they needed me to step in, they would ask my child to check in with me during the lesson or group class.

In our initial welcome materials, the most valuable suggestions included details about the significance of listening. Because Suzuki replaces reading notes with listening as the primary tool for young learners, it may be daunting for new Suzuki parents—particularly those with no musical education and those who lack familiarity with ear training. Recommendations and tips on how to incorporate effective active and passive listening into our daily routine were crucial for early success. Some of the most effective listening times in our family included actively listening to our current Suzuki book music whenever we were in the car, and passively in the background at home. We also did a bit of both during our bedtime routine. 

Flexible Notes

Providing parents with optional note-taking materials can be a valuable resource as they develop their own effective note-taking practices. For myself and the parents I’ve known, we find these resources are most practical when they extend beyond recommending one particular type of practice journal or note-taking system. Just as teachers must adapt their pedagogy to the diverse needs and abilities of each student, resource suggestions are best when tailored to the unique abilities and parenting styles of each Suzuki parent. For example, if a child frequently has a care provider or grandparent substituting for the usual Suzuki parent, that family would likely benefit from taking notes in a notebook or Google document that can be shared among caregivers. Even after a decade as a Suzuki parent, I was delighted when my son switched to a new teacher, and she provided a basket filled with pre-printed pages for note-taking, with prompts organized according to her lesson structure. When I thanked her for providing these materials, she shared that parents typically only used them for a few weeks as they developed their own system. It was a wonderful way to welcome a parent into a studio. 

For teachers who take notes during a lesson, it could be productive to share the main points with parents in a Google document. One of my son’s teachers did this for us. It allowed me to understand what she considered noteworthy and enhanced my own observations, especially for our first few lessons. Sharing notes can also assist a parent who has their attention split between the lesson and other siblings, and can serve to buttress a parent’s authority during practice if a child is going through a phase where they are more motivated to please their teacher than their parent. Finally, it is helpful to remind parents they are welcome to take photos or record parts of lessons for reinforcement during home practice. 

Practice Momentum

  Structuring practice and maintaining a positive atmosphere can be quite challenging for Suzuki parents. It was so instructive when our teachers provided a general idea of what an ideal, yet realistic, practice routine might entail. Offering fun and engaging ideas to make practice interesting and motivating helped tremendously. Games, charts, and physical movement eased the burden of practice for all of us. We used activities like rolling a die, magnetic fishing, and a variety of charts to determine the sequence of practice, which review songs to include, the duration of practice, and the number of repetitions for an exercise. Another great teacher suggestion was to incorporate movement games in between practice segments or repetitions of an exercise to keep my active child focused.

It was encouraging to me when my children’s teachers shared that students will encounter learning plateaus and regressions, and that these struggles are a normal part of the process. During these times, motivational tools helped us maintain practice momentum. We found there was considerable power in simple rewards earned for completing a chart, finishing a page in an exercise book, or having a week of practice with no outbursts. Rewards that delighted my children included stickers, dice, mini animals, super balls, and music-themed pins and erasers. Another alternative is to create an activity that serves as both a tracker and a reward. For example, a practice necklace can be made, with the student earning a bead to add every time they achieve a goal. In my local area, one of our teachers has a practice tree in her studio, where students add a decoration to the tree for each goal they accomplish. For my children and their friends, when external rewards were needed to inspire practice, they were only necessary for a short time and faded away once the plateau or regression had passed. 

Finding Community

My children grew up in an area where the Suzuki community is a loose association of private teachers who gather for a handful of concerts and play-ins. Each teacher has different requirements and expectations for students and parents. This system has advantages and disadvantages for everyone involved. One of the drawbacks for parents is the absence of a strong area-wide Suzuki parent network. I had been a Suzuki parent for nearly two decades when my daughter began her long-term Suzuki teacher training at The Hartt School. I was surprised to discover that part of the program offered by the Hartt Community Division includes a series of parent classes, including a book study of Nurtured by Love by Dr. Suzuki. In addition, parents are taught the fundamentals of their child’s chosen instrument, an overview of the structure of lessons, an in-depth study of the Suzuki philosophy, different methods for note-taking, and what practice sessions might entail. Most importantly, these sessions provide a venue where parents can share their experiences and questions. 

Once I heard about the parent classes at the Hartt Community Division, I found myself wishing I had been involved in a Suzuki program that required similar parent classes—not only for a more thorough understanding of the Method in the early stages, but also for the community that develops when parents spend that time together. Reflecting on our Suzuki experience, the most significant aspect missing for me was a strong parent network. While I did form friendships with other Suzuki parents over the years, the process would have been easier with official program-provided orientation classes. Understandably, not every school or studio can offer such classes. I would, however, suggest that organized periodic parent gatherings where parents can come together to share tips, laugh about practice stories, bolster each other through obstacles, and celebrate their Suzuki successes would enhance the learning experience at every type of studio and school. Just as our children study and draw inspiration from their peers during group class and play-ins, new Suzuki parents can profit from the wisdom of the parents who are further ahead on the path.

My son recently graduated from high school and will be continuing his viola studies at the college level. My daughter has completed her long-term training and is now guiding the next generation of Suzuki students and parents. My years as a Suzuki parent have come to an end. The years were enriching and precious, in no small part because of Suzuki teachers who took the time to communicate, educate, support, and empower me and other parents, effectively showcasing the importance of the Suzuki Triangle and successfully communicating the confidence that “Every Parent Can!”

Julia Kailing Cooper began her journey as a Suzuki parent 20 years ago, when her daughter Cecilia started violin lessons at age four. Cecilia is now a Suzuki teacher at the Western Springs School of Talent Education.  Her son Tirian began viola lessons at age six and will be pursuing his viola performance degree at Michigan State University in the fall of 2024.