Making a Difference

[size=90]Guest columnist Dr. Kay Collier McLaughlin is an Honorary Member of the SAA board, retired Suzuki violin teacher, teacher trainer, board member, author of They’re Rarely Too Young and Never Too Old to ‘Twinkle,’ and principal at Transformative Leadership Consulting. [/size]

One week in June 1968, I was immersed in a communications workshop in Kentucky. The following week, I was on my knees at the University of Wisconsin Conference Center, assuming the parent position beside my four- and six-year-old daughters for their first violin lessons from Shinichi Suzuki. 

Week One—Communications Workshop: “Learn to identify behaviors. Be aware of their impact. Own how it feels to you. Be able to state directly to the speaker. Do not sweep it under the rug.” 

Week Two—Violin Workshop: “Very good. You play. Now let’s work on weak point,” the teacher said again and again, always seeking the positive first, then clearly articulating and focusing on what needed improvement. 

The directness of the communication guidelines was a little unnerving at first. It would be far more comfortable to follow Dr. Suzuki’s lead in looking for the good points. For many of us, interpretation of this Suzuki-ism may not utilize the words “weak points” at all. Instead, we work toward helping students develop an awareness of what can be improved and the skills necessary to make the improvement. The same is needed for organizations.

Nonprofit organizations are messy. Most are born out of a passion for a cause, and a gathering of like-minded folk to spread the word. The messiness is minimal in the beginning, but with growth, things get messier. Greater disparity of experience, deviation in thought or action from unofficial norms of behavior, the introduction of elements of change that require compromise… messy! Nonprofit podcast guru Joan Garry says, “the truth is that nonprofits ARE messy. There’s not enough money, too many cooks, and an abundance of passion. Leading a nonprofit isn’t easy.” Nonprofit consultants are generally called to help when a group is blocked—unaccustomed to navigating differences with honesty, devolving into factions, or losing sight of common goals.

The SAA is a 50-year-old organization. It was at a natural point of reflection prior to the pandemic. Then, like all organizations, the SAA was pushed into the process of adaptive challenges, ready or not. 

I was one of the younger “old guard” when the SAA was born during long, after-hours meetings at the American Suzuki Institute in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. I’m simply “old guard” now, but I can remember that even before we formed as a nonprofit body, we were made up of strong personalities and differing perspectives.

Looking back, I see co-existing truths. We were all deeply committed to this philosophy and method which we believed would change the world of string music education, and perhaps, as Pablo Casals said, change the world. At the same time, honest conversations to resolve differences and clear and regular communication with membership were never built into our system. Time and time again, the process for selecting board members and organizing the board has changed; criticism of whatever the current process is remains. Many fine leaders have risen up over the years, giving their time and talent and responding to the demands of the time. At the half-century mark, we cannot recreate the insatiable curiosity and passion that marked those early years, as pioneering has its own watermarks. We can relearn collegiality and collaboration, how to listen and truly talk together when the conversations are hard and uncomfortable. 

Talking Together is a concept whose practices are taught by many professional models of hard conversations active today—ways to wade into organizational messiness and return to the heart of the matter rather than picking at symptoms. Some SAA members have participated in Talking Together’s training and in the “Communicating Honor for Diversity” course. The SAA is a praise-worthy international nonprofit with weak points that need identifying and strengthening.

When we lock our minds and hearts against any truth other than the one we already know, we miss Suzuki’s “new idea.” Instead, there is a tendency to tighten alliances with those who we know share our perspective and hold on tight. Each of us is capable of being sucked into the very behaviors on which we blame our troubles, just as we are capable of being the positive antidote that makes a difference in how we will survive and thrive.

An African friend who participated in a Talking Together seminar said that for him, the Zulu words Sawu Bona encapsulated what he had just experienced. Sawu Bona. I see you, I hear you. These are far more than words of politeness. To the Zulu, not being seen means one does not exist. In a desperate effort to be seen and heard today, many turn to social media. Halves of stories are heard and taken as gospel without meeting the eyes of any speaker. We literally do not see or hear one another. We hold unspoken fears of what we might have to give up or do differently. We must instead realize that new solutions can emerge as people share their concerns and move into the future. Together, we can and will make a difference.