by Laura Anderson Schleiger

I have performed each role of the Suzuki Triangle in my musical journey. In a well-functioning Suzuki Triangle, teacher, parent, and student work together to nurture musical development during lessons, home practices, and by creating a positive musical environment. Reflecting on my experiences at all three points of this triangle guides many of my decisions in my teaching studio and as a Suzuki Mom. As I work with my own children, I discover parts of this journey that vary from my expectations and perceptions at other stages of the triangle. By understanding the pressures and experiences of the student and parent within the Suzuki Triangle, Suzuki teachers are better equipped to support and guide other parents as they learn about talent education in their own homes.

My parents stumbled upon the world of the Suzuki Method when I was three years old. What could have been an insignificant encounter instead jump-started a relationship with a fantastic Suzuki teacher and my life’s passion. My childhood was filled with group classes, youth symphonies, institutes, chamber camps, concerto competitions, talent shows, and countless other performing and social opportunities. This musical upbringing led me to pursue both a bachelor’s and a Master’s Degree in Music Performance. In adulthood, the combination of my musical passion combined with a love for children pulled me back to the Suzuki world as a teacher. To complete my trip around the Suzuki Triangle, I now practice with three musicians of my own creation each day as they learn to play and love the violin and cello.

I hear so often that some of the greatest challenges within the Suzuki Triangle occur in the parents’ corner—and I must agree. Much of my learning and personal development with the method has come in the last six years through teaching and practicing with my boys. Experiencing the difficulty of the Suzuki Parent role in and of itself is not exactly profound, but it has greatly changed how I teach. It altered how I relate to the parents in my studio, my understanding of the method as a whole, and how I put so many elements of the method into action in my house and studio. Before welcoming my own children, I could not comprehend the pressures put on parents. Outside of taking care of children’s obvious needs, parents are put under so much social and societal pressure to prioritize the utmost commitment to every activity. They’re expected to introduce a great diversity in activities and skills, all the while maintaining a high standard of health and diet and making sure everyone and everything always appears “Pinterest Ready.” This is all, of course, truly impossible for parents to achieve. But knowing that many parents feel these same unrealistic pressures helps guide my decisions in my expectations for them and myself in my role as a mom.

Personally experiencing the myriad of parenting expectations has also changed how I react to challenges that may arise with parents in my studio. Parents who chose to pursue the Suzuki Method already show their commitment to their child and their musical education. When something falls short of expectations, it rarely comes from a place of disrespect or a parent’s lack of desire for the best for their child. Acknowledging and experiencing this helps me give more grace when a parent forgets an assignment, double books a lesson or recital, or makes any reasonable mistake. As a trivial example, as a young student, I vividly remember the frustration and embarrassment when a teacher would charge me if I forgot to cut my nails. Years later, as a young teacher, I felt my own annoyance with the chronic “long nail offender” students. Though I would prefer to spend lesson time teaching the music and instrument, I now understand that sometimes tasks like nail cutting are forgotten in the pressures of parenting. In giving the parents in my studio more grace, I have found them more willing to communicate the challenges they face and apply the advice I give. I still feel comfortable communicating my high expectations, though in my experience having grace for imperfection has not diminished the expectations and standards. Instead, it has strengthened the working relationship of the Suzuki Triangle.

At all points of the triangle, I have experienced the importance of well-functioning communication and respect between all parties, especially the parent and teacher. When we are all fully focused on the goal of developing beautiful musicians inside and out, we must make sure all of our interactions reflect this goal. Sadly, some of the more memorable situations from my time as a Suzuki student revolved around tensions between teachers and either myself or my parents. In hindsight, I wonder if those moments could have been handled more productively. As a teacher, it can be terribly frustrating when you feel as though your assignments and goals for the student are not actively supported or are opposed at home. Though disagreements and misunderstandings will always occur, the adults must keep the well-being of the child in mind during any decisions or interactions. Children will follow the lead of the adults when they make musical education a priority and treat all parties involved with kindness and respect.

I have seen how regular practice habits set students on a path for a love of learning and tangible progress at every step of my musical journey. I am so grateful for the habits I developed as a child where daily practice was simply an assumed activity. In both my own children and in those I teach, I love to experience the motivation cycle that comes in students who make practice a habit, then delight in their own accomplishments and progress, which then drives them to continue their practice habits, continuing the cycle. Dr. Suzuki’s statement that you should “only practice on the days that you eat,” made me grumble as a child, but I love it as a parent. It is such a clear expectation and removes any need to negotiate—I have yet to meet a child that will abstain from eating to avoid practice. Though nuances and special considerations should always be taken with rules like that, I have seen so much joy and success in my own family and those I work with when the parents set up a consistent plan.

In an outgrowth from this daily practice in my house, I have noticed a learning pattern that initially took me by surprise. When students practice well and regularly, teachers typically enjoy weekly lessons that demonstrate much growth and development. As a parent, I subconsciously expected a similar phenomenon on a smaller scale in practice sessions. Instead, I have found that daily work and progress can look much messier than the mostly upward and linear weekly progress experienced by the teacher. I have experienced so many practice days, weeks, and months that follow a much more “two steps forward and one step back” or occasionally a “one step forward and two steps back” growth pattern. Even when we try to do all things right, the daily progression can feel stagnant and frustrating if parents don’t have a longer-term perspective of development expectations. I have been able to approach daily practice sessions with my very different boys and their various learning peaks and valleys with much more patience after realizing that seeing progress in teaching looks very different than progress in daily practice. I can also communicate more realistic practicing expectations to the parents in my studio.

In relating to busy and often overwhelmed parents, I think is vital for teachers to weigh and communicate the benefits of any “extra” activity that they recommend. In a perfect world, students would participate in a large range of musical activities within the studio and community. But as hours in the day are limited, teachers should do their due diligence in making sure any recommendation provides the most value for the student as a musician and person. The activities I have observed that provide the most value to all of my students are participating in group classes, youth orchestras, summer institutes, and workshops. At every stop on the triangle, I have seen how much motivation, musicianship, and a love of their instrument grows when these extra activities are made a priority. So many of my fondest Suzuki memories revolve around the music my kids or I made, or the relationships I have built as a student and parent in these activities. As teachers, we can gain the trust of the parents in our studios when we reserve our recommendations for the most valuable activities and clearly communicate how they benefit the student.

I struggled with performance anxiety in my teen and college years, as so many teenagers do, when the performances held so much weight on my future and how I was perceived in the music community. As I have developed as a teacher and Suzuki parent, I find myself placing a greater emphasis on performing while also redefining what classifies as a performance. I hope that this change in perspective will create opportunities for connection and sharing joy instead of judgment and fear. Our interconnected world, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic, allows our students the technological ability to perform for just about anyone in the world at any time. Weekly performances for beaming grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are now at our fingertips. As are porch recitals for the neighbors. I have my children play for their school classes each year. It makes them feel special since almost no one else plays their instruments, and the teachers understand a different side to the child and what they spend much of their time outside of school pursuing. Taking a broader and more regular approach to performing makes recitals, competitions, and auditions seem more normal and produce less anxiety.

A more global benefit of taking a broader approach to performing is that any performance may introduce more people to the world of Classical music, musical education at a young age, and the Suzuki Method. Just as my parents stumbled into everything that being a Suzuki parent entailed, so many parents do not know much about this wonderful opportunity and what it looks like in practice. Every time that a child plays the instrument outside of the practice space, it not only increases confidence in playing; it could spark interest or joy in an audience member. I can personally attest to how simple exposure to the world of Classical music and the Suzuki Method can benefit someone’s life. My trip through all three corners of the Suzuki Triangle has brought me limitless joy, beauty, growth, and passion, as well as a rewarding career. It all began with a chance exposure to Suzuki students in action. I hope for a future of many more well-functioning Suzuki Triangles and the beautiful hearts and musicians they create.

Laura Anderson Schleiger has been an active part of the Colorado Suzuki community since beginning violin lessons at the age of 4. Throughout her childhood, she also pursued Suzuki training in harp and piano. She continued her musical study at the University of Denver, where she received a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree in Music Performance. She graduated summa cum laude and with many honors including Most Outstanding Undergraduate in Performance and membership to the Pi Kappa Lambda Honor Society. While studying at DU, she received much her Suzuki violin training from James Maurer and Carol Tarr. She has also received unit training from Kathleen Spring, Ann Montzka-Smelser, and Mary Kay Waddington (harp). When not teaching, Laura can often be found performing around the community and as Concertmaster of the Littleton Symphony. She loves spending as much time as she can with her family, including her four little boys. She is hopeful for a future of string quartet concerts in her home!