Frustrated Mom

Julie said: Feb 19, 2019
Julie Mae
Suzuki Association Member
Violin, Viola
Apple Valley, CA
11 posts

An email from a parent of my 6yr old student. Can anyone help me with my reply? I hate to see her quit. “Kotomi seems to have less interest in violin. I might be the main reason since I have been asking her to play violin but now she seems careless. If I don’t ask her she even forgets that she has a violin

Kurt Meisenbach said: Feb 19, 2019
Kurt Meisenbach
Suzuki Association Member
Viola, Violin
Plano, TX
45 posts

Without knowing the parent and the child, it is difficult to know exactly where to start. Having said that, the parent might want to consider the following:

First find out why her daughter wants to quit.
• Is it because her peer group doesn’t support or approve?
• Is she more interested in something else?
• Is she bored?
• Does she think she is not good enough?
• Does someone else play better than she does, and it makes her feel inferior?
• Is her instrument physically uncomfortable to play?
• Does she need a better instrument?
• Does she want to play a different instrument?
• Does she need to have her lesson on another day or at another time?
• Do recitals scare her?
• Did she have an embarrassing moment where she did not play well?
• Did somebody make fun of her because she plays an instrument?

Ask probing questions to get to her real reasons for wanting to quit. This may require more than one conversation. Her daughter may need to think about it to get to the bottom of why she wants to stop playing. The first answer will not necessarily be the real one. At the age of six, a child’s vocabulary is frequently not adequate to express how she may feel. The parent needs to ask questions to find out how she really does feel.

At the age of six, children copy their parents a lot. If something is important to the parent, it will usually be important to the child also.

If you want a longer answer, I can send you excerpts from a book I have written for parents. Several of the chapters go into greater detail on this issue, and the additional information may be helpful.

Julie said: Feb 20, 2019
Julie Mae
Suzuki Association Member
Violin, Viola
Apple Valley, CA
11 posts

Yes. I would love some excerpts from your book. Thanks so much. What is the name of your book?

Barbara Eadie said: Feb 20, 2019
Barbara Eadie
Suzuki Association Member
Victoria, BC
39 posts

I would also like to know the name of your book.

Kathleen Moser said: Feb 21, 2019
Suzuki Association Member
Jeffersonville, PA
8 posts

Christine Goodner may also have some helpful articles for you:]

Enjoy the journey—there are so many enlightening things to discover along the way!

Suzuki Piano Teacher and Suzuki mom of 16-yr- and 12-yr-old pianists, 

Kathy M

Sarah Wise said: Mar 5, 2019
Suzuki Association Member
Violin, Viola
3 posts

I would also be interested in your book, Kurt.

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